I met a guy in my latest trip. He had big, kind eyes, and a bright smile with brackets. He was fair and tall. Never have I met a truly humble person. I usually think humbleness come across as fishing for compliments, and tend to dislike people that pretend to be humble.
But the way he quietly accepted compliments made me review my pre-conceptions.
It was easy talking with him. Looking directly at his eyes felt like a challenge, and made me (as a whole) pound like crazy.
We talked about stress in our schools. And religion. And drawing. I tried not to focus on the huge bite marks he had in his neck. We were travelling as a group, so a lot of people were experienting with one another.
And it was okay, really. I don't want responsabilities at this moment on my life. I tried to squeeze in a boyfriend an the end of last year, and we ended up breaking up. I tried to cry, but I couldn't.
"Please see beauty in me", I nonetheless thought.
I wanted to steal some of his brightness. I paled in comparison. And here- I pinpoint, Holmes style- lies the problem: I can't start a relationship feeling less than him.
Jeez, all I wanted is to release some of the sexual tension I have been bottling up for the last two months. Look where I am right now: confessing my attraction through text.
I looked at the words I chose with deception. "I know you don't feel the same way", yara yara yara. Turns his agreement into a negative for me.
I looked at his agreement, feeling blue.
But it was, without a doubt, the best rejection anyone has ever said to me. The words were careful, and I could see he cared.
I was so relieved we were still talking normally the next day.
But when his little touches began, I was confused. I felt like I was in elementary school again. And started to resent him. Couldn't he live up to his words?
I guess he wanted to comfort me.
His eyes were enough though. Eyes that seemed to see everything
No comments:
Post a Comment